it's called a date, you idiot
by itnevergoesout
Summary: prompted on tumblr: lily & james go to hogsmeade. alone. they both think it's a date but everything is terribly ambiguous and there's no snogging so they both have minor nervous breakdowns in their respective dorms later.


"Next time," Lily says lightly, flicking a cobweb from her hair and dusting the cheap vinyl booth before gingerly setting herself down, "we're going to the Three Broomsticks."

James sneezes in response. "Poor dear," Lily coos, passing him a handkerchief with a little embroidered lily bedecking the corner. "Once again, next time, we're doing the Three Broomsticks. This dust is ridiculous."

"Yeah," James answers, still slightly nasal. "But you have to admit, there's a certain charm to the place. Furniture from 40 years ago, Ab's dulcet tones tossing out those smashed banshees that time, the gremlin club that get together most Mondays."

Lily lifts an eyebrow. "Also the pints are wicked cheap," James reluctantly adds.

"Now that is how you lay claim to a girl's heart, Potter," Lily says tonelessly. "Woo her with your commitment to miserhood."

"Well I must be doing a good job, because you've already agreed to a next time."

"Mmm, point. Who knew you were such a flirt?"

"I assure you Evans, I'm quite the ladies man," James says. "The boys and I, we took a poll once asking the birds of Hogwarts for the fittest, most charming bloke in the school and I took first place with the kind of margin that you'd normally only find in a Quidditch match."

"Only because Sirius wasn't an option," Lily answers, amused, as James chokes on the Butterbeer a surly server has just deposited on the table. "I am a girl of Hogwarts, Potter, even if you and your lot seem to think of me as one of the boys. I saved the papers; Sirius would've de facto won so they didn't bother putting him on the ballot. How's it feel coming in second place?"

"Clever minx," James mutters, still coughing slightly. Lily reaches over the table and pats him on the back consolingly.

It's been so… _normal_ so far. They held hands while strolling along High Street, but James regularly seemed to find an excuse to tug on Lily's hand, always so eager to shepherd her along to Quidditch scrimmages or show her a family of ladybugs on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. They flirted, but that was a commonplace activity for the two of them at this point anyways. The only discernable difference in today's outing was the way his eyes seemed to shine, looking across the table at Lily, leaning forward in an attempt to catch every word.

And here was Lily's daft heart, racing like a marathon. She was screwed.

Just… Potter was so confusing. He did these nice boyfriend-ish things like picking up the check and wrapping his arm across her shoulders when escorting her through the portrait hole, but he seemed so collected. So calm. Like this wasn't a date, after all.

If there was something beyond screwed, Lily was that, too.

It was hard work, fancying someone. The books were rotten liars.

They are nearing the castle now, James' arm looped through Lily's. Something about the position makes her self-conscious, so she slips her arm free and skips ahead, stooping to pick a couple dandelions from the grass and tuck them into her hair. "I'm a fairy!" she trills, and James smiles a smile that makes her shiver because she could swear that there is love threaded into the expression like embroidery floss on a particularly magnificent tablecloth.

Until he walks her into the common room and yawns. "I'm knackered," he says, stopping near a cluster of empty armchairs. "And I've got that nasty Herbology essay to tackle. I think I'm going to nap for a bit. And don't we have patrols tonight?"

"Yeah," Lily answers, a bit distant. "We do."

"So I'll see you later then?"

"Sure. Thanks for the drinks."

There's something in the look on Lily's face that makes James pause, but he's just too exhausted to figure her out. So he salutes in her direction and makes his way upstairs.

It's only once he reaches his dorm that he recognizes it as disbelief.

…

"He doesn't fancy me anymore," Lily cries dramatically, standing next to Marlene's wardrobe and rapidly flicking through its contents, occasionally tugging something off a hanger and holding it up to her body. Retail therapy is a habit she picked up from Alice, and this is as close as she can get whilst in school.

"Relax yourself, Lilith," Mary says calmly, lazily flicking through the Hogwarts weekly newsletter, a recent development that did little more than make already rampant school gossip even more easily accessible. "Look, Davies has written an impassioned article against bullying, poor sod. Everyone knows he's asking to keep getting his head dunked in a toilet. Oooh, and here's an interview with Diggory, he has some fancy internship at the ministry or some rubbish like that. And here's-"

"SHUT UP, MARY!" Lily shrieks, hysterical. "This is a mango level crisis!"

Finally, Mary puts down the paper and sniffs. "Just trying to keep you up to date on Hogwarts politics," she says primly. "But I know when I'm no longer appreciated. What's this about a mango?"

"A mango level crisis!" Lily repeats, voice only a fraction of an octave lower. "Upgrade from persimmon!"

"Oh, a mango crisis," Mary says sagely. "So it's an upgrade from persimmon then?"

"I just said that," Lily huffs. "I had my date with Potter today, yeah? Only, he acted like it wasn't a date! He didn't even snog me when we parted in the common room! Said some tosh about being tired. Am I such bad company? That I exhausted him? He didn't even kiss me goodbye!"

"He didn't kiss you?" Mary asks, intrigued.

"He didn't kiss me!" Lily wails.

The drama is too much for Mary. "Just go snog him then," she says airily, picking up the copy of Muggle Vogue her aunt mailed her. "But come back quick, we need to discuss Twiggy's latest outfits- Lil? Lilith!"

But she is already long out the door.

…

James is flopped on his bed, playing dead. Peter is the only one who looks slightly alarmed; Sirius and Remus are aimlessly bickering over the merits of kidnapping Filch's cat. "Er, everything alright, Prongs?" Peter says, glancing over at James, still and unmoving.

"Peachy," he grunts, then proceeds to cough so viciously even Remus is concerned. "How was your date with Lily?" Sirius asks, still eyeing James warily.

"Fine. Brilliant," James says, sitting up and leaning against the wall. "Except when I dropped her off at the entrance to the girl's dormitories she gave me this funny look and… I buggered this up, she doesn't fancy me anymore, right? She had her 'I'm about to break up with you' face on, didn't she? Sodding hell. I'm finished."

"Did you kiss her?" Remus asks innocently.

"No! How could I, when I feel so…"

"POTTER!"

James blinks. There is Lily, wearing his Puddlemere sweatshirt with jeans, standing in his dormitory in all her fiery glory. He gulps. Then sneezes.

"Alright, Evans?" he says without humor, rustling his hair and not daring to look at her.

Silence. He starts to look up but it's too late. Lily has crossed the room and, stretching up on her toes, snogs him.

He's never kissed an angry Lily before. Shy? Sure, those first few times, when everything still felt new and fuzzy but entirely right. Horny? He smirks thinking of _that_ particular adventure, and Lily smiles back against his lips, before reluctantly tearing them apart. "Go get a room," Sirius mutters irritably, and Lily flips him the bird. She looks up at James, and he finds he can't breathe; Lily's hands are pulling on his collar so they're at eye level. "You've set a very bad precedent," she says sternly. "I might never go to Hogsmeade with you again if it always ends so badly."

"You just snogged me," James points out. "How else would you like it to end?"

"Yeah, but I had to march up to your dormitory and do it in front of all your mates!" Lily cries. "I was waiting at the doorway to our dorms and you just did that awkward wave and I thought maybe I misunderstood and this wasn't a date at all and you didn't have those kinds of feelings for me and-"

"We've been snogging for the past month!" James says incredulously. "We can't do a single patrol without disappearing into a classroom and making out, what other kinds of feelings do you think that implies?"

"Well, you never said it was a date," Lily says petulantly.

"A month?" Sirius interrupts. "A bloody _month_ , and you never said anything, Prongs?"

"Piss off, Sirius," Lily and James say simultaneously. They share a look that is somewhere between pleased and frightened.

Sirius can do nothing but stare. "Right," Remus says hastily. "Wormy, it's nearly five, you have a detention with McGonagall. Padfoot, we're going to the kitchens for some food."

"Stiff drinks, more like," Sirius mutters darkly, but he follows Remus out the door, leaving James and Lily alone.

At first the silence is awkward. Lily realizes she's still gripping James' collar and immediately lets go. He coughs, rubbing his neck, and moves toward his bed. "Come sit," he says, hoarse, and Lily obliges. He's opening his mouth to apologize when Lily abruptly cuts in: "is that Pepper-up Potion?"

There's a goblet of steaming liquid sitting on his bedside table, and Lily gestures towards it. "That is, in fact, Pepper-up Potion," James says. "Always knew you were a potions prodigy, Evans."

"Shut it," she says kindly. "Are you ill?"

"Maybe."

"Then why would you come to Hogsmeade with me? You could've cancelled- I would've understood. Merlin, no wonder you looked so pale."

"I notice you aren't calling it a date," he says. Lily's face falls, and he rushes to explain. "Even if we didn't outright state it… Lils, I really fancy you. I always thought of this as a date, and that's why I couldn't cancel. Even with the flu. Because I was afraid I'd caught you in a moment of weakness or something and if I asked you to reschedule you would come to your senses and say no. And I just couldn't risk that. I couldn't."

There's a very long silence where James catches his breath and Lily fidgets with her hair.

"Sometimes, I think you're really stupid," Lily finally answers.

"Why, thank you."

"No! I mean I was so _obvious_ , for Merlin's sake we were snogging everywhere. I just didn't want to make it public because I was so sure you would become fed up of me. I'm brash and outspoken and I eat too much, and you used to joke about marrying me so often that I was convinced you were making the whole thing up. But that thing you do when you fiddle with your glasses, Merlin, it drives me spare."

"This?" He smirks, fiddling with his glasses, and Lily blushes.

"I really, really fancy you too, James Potter."

"Lily," he sighs.

"James."

"I really want to kiss you again," James says. "But I don't want to get you sick."

"Well," she answers devilishly, "I've already gotten the germs from you that first time. Might as well continue, yeah?"

He only grins and snogs her in response.

They're sitting and talking on James' bed when Remus and Sirius return from the kitchens an hour later, chocolates and firewhiskey in hand. Sirius loudly clears his throat and she jumps, before climbing down and heading for the door. "I'll see you for patrols tonight, Potter," Lily says, tugging at her top.

She's nearly at the doorway before James composes himself enough to answer. "Sure," he mumbles. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Lily smiles fondly at him. Until, of course, she sneezes, and Remus begins to laugh, extending his palm.

And Sirius, cursing, starts fumbling through his pockets for some change.


End file.
